Different Results in the Same Space
Written by Liyah Mai Leoni.
2020 has been a tough year to say the least. Many aspects of our life including our relationships have taken a deep detour down an unexpected road.
Lockdowns and quarantines have either forced us into a space with one another or caused unanticipated gaps and distance we feel confined in.
Whatever the space you find your relationship in, we have all had magnified results that have cause tainted views on each other and our relationship.
It is common that during these times emotions, affection, understanding and feelings are unbalanced and tested.
It is up to us individually and as couples to overcome withdrawals and grow with ‘love’ and ‘patients’ through the hard times by looking for different results in the same space.
“How are we going to look for different results in the same space?”
Here is an exercise to assist
Step One: Recognition
Sit comfortably in silence, facing one another, gently hold hands, look into each other’s eyes and take deep breaths together. (count of three)
Begin to recognize the space you are in with each deep breath you take.
Is this an emotional space? Is this a heavy space? Is this a happy space? Is it a healthy space?
Do this for approximately 5 minutes
When you are ready, write down your thoughts and feelings on to a piece of paper. (To be clear; this is not how your other half makes you feel, it is how you feel about yourself).
Writing these down allows us to recognize the space we are in.
Step Two: Patience
Exchange papers with your partner and take the time to acknowledge how your other half feels.
While we have our own battles, our partner has hers too. This refreshes our ability to be patient and gentle with each other during these testing times.
New beginnings can happen every day through transparency.
Step Three: Communication
We cannot expect our partner to be connected to us through telepathic transmission.
It is for us to continue to practice being curious and not critical. To be careful and not crushing, to ask before assuming and to connect not correct.
Talk to each other; if all you want is to be held, tell her you need a hug.
If you need to be listened to, ask her to hear you out without interruptions and even if you need a moment to yourself, tell her you need five minutes.
Step four: Openness
Repeat steps one, two and three often.
Being open means seeing things as they really are for both sides without opposing or a lens of fixed thought.
We are all facing individual battles that may very well affect our space together. And while we do not have a full understanding of what another is going through. Being open and curious allows us to gain this through communication.
Sharing a space with another person means you cannot try to change anything about her. If she is having a bad moment or emotional heaviness, your agreement is to allow each other to feel without intervening or rushing her process.
“Nothing worth having comes easy”
Together we can work on recognition, patients, communication and openness.
Let’s welcome a new year with getting to know each other all over again and looking for different results in the same space
For better for worse,
Love Liyah Mai Leoni
Books / web of ref
Mastery of Love By Don Miguel Ruiz
Matery of Self By Don Miguel JR
The 4 Habits Dr.Andrea & Jonathan Taylor-Cummings – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4Y5Mr8rZ9A